Going through our daily lives, we as men tend to use harsh language at times. Some more than others, but we all do it. Sometimes it has to do with watching sports, sometimes it has to do with women, and sometimes just because it’s funny. The proper use of language however, is more than just throwing a random expletive into a sentence, it is an art form. Appropriate consideration must be given to several factors, including but not limited to, the setting, the company, and the desired effect of the statement you are trying to make. Mastering this art is crucial, as improper use of language can make you look like a complete jackass.
Some settings where swearing is completely inappropriate are fairly obvious. Church, job interviews, and public speaking venues are prime examples. Some settings are not as obvious, but important to remember nonetheless. Language is particularly critical on a first date, and for that matter the first few dates. Unless the female specifically opens that door, always carefully choose your words in the early dating phase. Remember that a first date is many things, but it is most importantly a job interview for your favorite part of your anatomy, and you should treat it as such. You really need to know the girl a little before exposing her to the more abrasive facets of your personality. How you talk in your professional life also warrants thought. Granted, the importance of this varies with your job, as the language on a construction site will be very different than that in a law firm, but as a general rule, some care must be taken. Regardless of your particular business, you will come off as much more professional if you talk like you are, and that will directly relate to your level of success. I'm of the opinion that work and women are closely related, as they are both simply pursuits of something. One is money, the other is booty, but you get the idea. And while in the pursuit of either, you should most likely watch what you say.
Considering the effect you are trying to achieve with what you are saying is also very important. While a statement can be greatly improved with the right word or phrase, the wrong one can just make you look stupid. Proper word choice is also often the deciding factor in whether something is funny or just obscene. Sometimes "Holy Shit" is a little extreme, but a well-timed "Holy Crap" is downright hysterical. The impact made by one simple word can also be seen in the difference in the sentences “Shut up” and “Shut the fuck up.” These are two entirely different statements. One little word, but a whole world of difference.
There are certain constants in this world that will always have significant impacts on our language. Women are of course one of these. The Pope himself would open up a whole new area of his vocabulary by moving in with a woman. Anytime your patience is tested in the way that only a woman can your language will certainly be impacted. I believe the reason for this to be that the frustrations that women impart on us transcend not only culture, but time as well, going back to the first caveman whose wife gave him hell for bringing home the wrong animal skin. Our brains regress and try to express this primal rage. Since simply clubbing women over the head became politically incorrect several thousand years ago, we express this rage through various colorful expressions.
While there are many reasons why we swear, and many different ways that we do it, the fact remains that is an art. We must always carefully watch what we say, how we say it, and who we say it to. Then again, I could be wrong, in which case - fuck it.
