Choices

We all make choices every day of our lives. Some of these are big, like the house we buy, and some are small, like do I want tomato on my sandwhich today. Some however, are much bigger than they may seem. What may seem an insignificant decision requiring little or no thought may, and often times does influence how you are perceived by others, specifically by women. If that is the case, then these choices are determining whether or not you get laid, and therefore they are very significant indeed.

First of all, we should cover your drink of choice when out in public. You can never go wrong with beer. As long as there's no fruit in it, you're okay here. Mixed drinks are a whole other story however. There are far more guidelines to be observed here. First and foremost, no fruity shit. That much should be obvious. You simply cannot be taken seriously while drinking a strawberry daiquiri. Second, only international spies are allowed to drink martinis, so don't even think about uttering the words "shaken not stirred." If you're ordering mixed drinks, stick with the classics. Rum and coke is okay, Jack and coke is better, Crown and coke is preferred. You can get away with a whiskey sour, and straight whiskey or scotch is always a winner.

Personal appearance also warrants some attention. Stick with a classic business casual wardrobe and you'll be fine. Khaki pants and polo shirts or button downs will never be a bad idea. Jeans may be substituted for less formal occasions. The only real guideline here has to do with colors. NO PASTEL SHIRTS! You do not look good in that pink polo. You look gay. Get over it. Also included here is facial hair. Choose your facial hair responsibly people. No straight man has worn only a moustache since Magnum P.I. went off the air. Goatees are good, beards are okay. Anything beyond that may be acceptable for you depending on your occupation, but keep in mind that mutton chops simply aren't going to impress anyone.

Finally, let's look at your choice of vehicle. Now obviously what we drive does have some dependence on our income, and that's fine. You don't have to drive a BMW Z3, but you certainly may NOT drive a Volkswagen Bug. As long as you choose wisely and don't pick a car that just screams "I take it in the ass" you should be fine. In regards to color, again stick with the basics. Black, red, blue, and white are all fine. Green is a little girly, and anything yellow is just stupid. I mean seriously, what chance do you really have of getting laid if you pick the chick up in a yellow Kia. Think about that.

Choices rule our lives. We are forced to make choices everyday of our lives, and for the most part we make choices about things that we really don't give a shit about. The general rule is, when presented with a decision to make, I usually don't care either way, but consideration must always be given to what my choice may say about me to the opposite sex. So, when you get right down to it, almost every single choice you make can be simplified down to "do I want to get laid." And if you don't know the answer to that one, there's really not much I can do for you.